photo: CC // Anna Gay
self-efficacy: a fancy academic way of describing someone who's not only brave enough to reach for the stars ...but crazy enough to believe they can touch them too.
I had a very interesting lunch meeting today
with a very interesting person
who has lived a very interesting life.
As a husband, he is still in love with the woman he was set up on a blind date with many many years ago.
As a father, he's raised three wonderful boys who mean the world to him.
As a record industry exec in the 80s, he was there when signing "a relatively unknown band at the time called Guns n Roses" - I must look younger than I am because he said it in a way where he really didn't think I knew who they were.
As an art collector 6 years ago, he stumbled upon the talent of a young contemporary Chinese artist whose work is now worth -- well, let's just say a whole heck of a lot more now than before she became famous.
As a man now in his mid-50s he attributes his own financial success to some big wins accompanied by a lot of failures in between.
As an entrepreneur on his second China venture -- or should we say ADVENTURE -- he prides himself in proudly but modestly recognizing things on the verge of breaking through to another level -- years before everyone else catches on. Hey, I believe him. See above mention of relatively unknown band called Guns n Roses for proof. Child of the 80s here. Enough said.
Anyways, so with that in mind, towards the end of our lunch he told me about a Harvard study that was conducted on a bunch of successful people from all walks of society.
He asked me if i knew what the single common trait was that they found in all these successful people.
Their education? I asked.
No.
Their family background? I asked again.
No.
Their upbringing? I asked for the third time.
No.
Ok. Then what? I asked.
A high level of self-efficacy. He said.
Self what? -- crap! -- I was thinking. I really don't get what that means. I feel stupid.
Self-efficacy. A person's belief in themselves that they can succeed in what they set out to do. You have it. He said.
(or something like that. paraphrasing at this point. but you get the picture.)
Thank you, I said.
So we talked a bit more about the new company I'm working on. He gave me some advice ...along with some stuff to research and some valuable contacts to follow up on before our next lunch in a few weeks -- a process I have nicknamed "startup founder homework". I love it. I embrace it. It's invaluable. I digress.
After lunch, I picked up some cupcakes for my son. Yes, that was me you might have seen walking blindly for a few blocks in Santa Monica, almost tripping on my platform shoes because I had my face down in my iPhone googling "self-efficacy". After all, when someone goes out of their way to spend some time sharing their life lessons and then pays you a compliment (and teaches you a new word) after learning a bit about your life, you owe it to yourself to at least read the wikipedia page on the term to make sure you understand what it means:
Self-efficacy has been defined in a variety of ways: as the belief that one is capable of performing in a certain manner to attain certain goals,[1] as a person’s belief about their capabilities to produce designated levels of performance that exercise influence over events that affect their lives.[2] It is a belief that one has the capabilities to execute the courses of actions required to manage prospective situations.
Awesome.
[insert confidence here]
I have self-efficacy.
Although, I didn't always have it. I know that much. Pretty sure I picked it up during this little five year journey I've been on.
Being that I'm a simple person who needs to break things down in easy to understand terms, my remixed definition of self-efficacy would be that it's a fancy academic way of describing someone who's not only brave enough to reach for the stars ...but crazy enough to believe they can touch them too.
That's my version. Actually, come to think of it, just pay close attention to the people I've chosen to surround myself with in recent years. They all definitely have a high level of self-efficacy too.
Not a coincidence I would say.
Reminds me of a recent conversation I had with my friend Dan Martell. We were catching up on the phone and looking back on how much we had both done in the last 12 months since the first GeeksOnAPlane Asia trip. The paraphrased dialog went something like this:
Holy shit we've done a lot in the past 12 months. He said.
That's because we're the type of people that likes to get shit done and we hang out with other people who like to get shit done. So when people who get shit done hang out with other people who get shit done. Guess what? Shit gets done. I said.
(Yes. You can ask him. I really said the word shit a lot of times during that phone call. It is most certainly in fact Dave McClure's influence.)
I digress again.
So yea, that's all I have to say about today's awesome lunch meeting.
Oh and by the way, if you're reading this and you already knew what self-efficacy meant ...well, then good for you. Do me a favor and be sure to treat yourself to a cookie this week ...and make sure to share the cookie and pass on a moment of inspiration with someone the way a friend did for me at lunch today.
